Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Cold, Hard Truth About Love We’re All Ignoring (Idiots!)

Well, here we are folks, love obsessed Millennials just trying to balance our crazy work lives with finding time for love (#firstworldproblems). Because whether you’re a serial dater, a serial monogamist, a serial one-night-stander or a serial cat-adopter, the concept of love is running your life. Don't lie to yourself, you know "The Notebook" makes you cry.

Indeed, this love obsession permeates through our culture, from movies to books to blogs (oh hey you’re on one) to self-help guides, meet-up groups, bar-hopping, and Pinterest quotes -- we love to love (which encompasses dating, sex, romance and of course jerking off).

But as Millennials, a lot of “experts” (you know those other adults who are older than us) say we’re doing it wrong. Our hook-up culture and propensity to marry later is creating a system where we might have three or four serious relationships before tying the knot, double or triple-digit sex partners and enough OkCupid messages to want to blow our brains out.

And while we’re running around looking for, or trying to hold onto, to this thing called "love" for what could amount to decades … we’re all forgetting the one, cold hard truth no one really talks about:

Once you do find that person you want to be friends with, have sex with and be awesome with all the time (um, that’s like my definition of love) it can only end one way -- you either get married or breakup.

Yeah, that’s it. Go big or go home … alone.

So while imagining what it would be like to have coffee every Sunday morning, or thinking about your destined-to-be awesome Bora Bora honeymoon or growing old and drinking tea on the porch together, chances are this person will break your heart, not say “I do.”

How does this happen? How do we find ourselves so enamored with someone that our hearts feel like they will literally explode (see how I used literally, but it was kind of figuratively) to hating that person more than we hate Justin Bieber? To labeling a box that once read "Our stuff" to “Asshole’s shit” and throwing it out a window?

It probably has something to do with the fact that love is like a drug (seriously drugs hijacked the neural “love pathways” in our brains knowing how awesome they make us feel, so they too could make us feel awesome. Look it up). This euphoric, must-have-you-all-the-time feeling  -- a “high” if you will -- can only last so long. Then we are left with just a person and possibly a broken heart.

So how are we all not just going insane all the time knowing this (maybe we are)? I mean seriously, as humans when we fall in love our hearts are saying “Yes, this is amazing, keep going! He's the one? How could he not be?” And our brains are like, “Whoah, this is great, but let’s keep one eye open huh? P.S. emergency exit to your left.”

Maybe that’s the point. Maybe when love sucks it really sucks. Like gut-wrenching, gauge your eyes out, binge on Netflix sucks. And when it’s great, it’s so great that we all just participate in this crazy charade leading up to it because we want it so badly. Because that's how great it is.

As a cynic who is actually a secret romantic (Shh! don’t tell anyone) all I have to say is that being in love is … well lovely. So fuck logic.

1 comment:

  1. According to no less an authority than "Cracked" -- the "Weirdness" quote about compatibility is an internet meme that is widely reprinted but wrongly sourced. They say:

    " But it's actually from Robert Fulghum's book True Love. It's fine if you still want to use it, but at the very least give the man his due credit."