There comes a point in our lives when we are all economists… I know what you’re thinking… me? An economist? No way… I hate math! But when it comes to dating that’s exactly what we are. I am talking about Cost-Benefit Analysis here people and we are all experts… kind of.
Take a typical Friday night for example. The night begins, you meet up with your friends, you hit up a bar and you evaluate the situation. More often than not hanging out with your friends in more fun than meeting new people. Cost- Benefit Analysis = continue hanging out with friends, this leading to more fun.
Two Vodka Sodas & 10 PM
The night continues, you have a drink or two, you think about your ex, or your last hook-up or maybe a friend with benefits. Should you check in? It’s 10 pm. Your analysis is: Will I possibly have to leave this fun and miss out on meeting a new guy (which has now entered the equation since you’ve exhausted the friend conversations) or text someone and guarantee a late night rendez-vous? The cost-benefit proves that you are neither drunk enough to be desperate and are still technically having fun so you choose to take a chance, send no texts and see what happens. Cost-Benefit Anlaysis: Right now hanging out with anyone is more fun than hanging out with your ex, hook-up and/ or f*** buddy.
Tequila Shots at Midnight (+ 30 min)
You talked to a few strangers, you met back up with your friends, and are now currently chatting up a guy (or girl) at the bar whilst taking tequila shots. You look at your phone and debate calling your hook-up. New guy or hook-up? The drunker you get the more you want to guarantee NOT going home at last call. This is where it gets tricky. If you make the first move, i.e. call or text first then you put the ball in their court. You wonder if you should ride it out with shot boy. The Cost-Benefit Analysis leads you down one of two roads:
1. Your current hook-up is mildly enjoyable therefore the cost-benefit analysis = go ahead and call because you know it will be better than what this newbie is offering. Obviously he’s no Brad Pitt.
2. OR your current hook-up sucks and you will only text them out of desperation so again you ride it out. Cost-benefit = more fun in the unknown that what you already had.
Last Call… Should You Call?
It’s 2 am. You are drunk. Everyone around you is drunk. You made no back up plans… i.e. earlier midnight texts. Thus the time has come to drunk dial. This is a bad idea. You know it’s a bad idea but you rationalize that you’re drunk so who cares? Well the truth is the recipient cares and here is what will happen to you if you give into your evil-tequila-driven ways:
New Hook-up: If you have only hooked up once or twice at random… then you cannot call this person. You give them all the power and they will think you are desperate. Mainly because you are desperate and your drunken cost-benefit is telling you to drunk text them anyways… but that’s the tequila talking, so unless you want to wake up the next morning (alone by the way) and feel pathetic - stay away.
*If they wanted to desperately hook-up with you then they already would have texted you. Remember the cost-benefit rule is a two-way street. So if they didn’t call you than they decided they would rather eat tacos and fall asleep in their clothes than hook-up with you.
Old Hook-up: Depending on the relationship this can either work in your favor and give you a nice back up of fun or result in total and utter desperation because not only do you know this person but they will hold it against you. Therefore your cost-benefit has an added risk factor of: are you willing to feel ridiculous? If the answer is yes, then go for it. But remember you lose the power and therefore next weekend cannot play this card. So many metaphors. Wow.
Kind-of Sort-of Dating: Really it’s 2 am and you haven’t been in touch yet. News Flash: You’re not dating.
So why is it a deal breaker? The truth is… if you text at 2 am… it’s a deal breaker. Maybe not that night, but definitely for the future. Texting at 2 am is not playing hard to get and unless you are okay with it being your final hook-up then go ahead and call. But if you would like to see it happen more… put the phone down and take your drunken ass home. You must equate fun now versus fun later versus lasting fun. People like the chase and if you don’t make it hard then the other person’s cost-benefit analysis of you = not challenging = not fun = I would rather eat tacos.
Isn’t economics fun? :)